


The Cycle of the Blade

by fedoramonkeys



Category: Original Work
Genre: Boners, Bullying, Coming Out, F/M, Hallucinations, Hetalia all the way, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, Hunten doesnt understand why his life is so terrible, Hunten's little sister is a god send, It Sucks, M/M, STEve IS COMING, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Zina and David are anime loving idiots, and why I make it worse, how does one tag this shit, i cant write erections, i honestly havent touched this in fucking months, only multichapter thing ive posted, steve - Freeform, uhhhhhhh schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fedoramonkeys/pseuds/fedoramonkeys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunten's life story, and how he hates it. His life is great until he gets caught checking out his best friend, the others don't really like that so he is cast out. He knew he could never be who he wanted so he decided to end it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOO this is my original story that started all my other stories  
> IT SUCKS i know this  
> It's my first writing attempt and i take some pride in it (just a bit)  
> All characters are mine and i need to stop coming up with characters that i cant handle Please Please don't take my characters they mean the world to me
> 
> (god these are short chapters wtf i thought i wrote more)

Hunten sighed as he looked down at his arms and saw the crisscrossing scars there. He remembered why every scar was there and the relief he felt when he opened up another fountain of blood. Today was the day he decided he would kill himself. He looked around the locker room for the final time as he locked himself into the toilet stall. 

While he was locking the door, he was muttering to himself saying “I wish it could have happened differently.” 

It was after the game was over – we won – that it happened. Hunten and the rest of the team were showering and Hunten saw his long time crush pass by him. His crush was his childhood friend Alex Turner who had moved from Texas to Florida and moved in next door. He remembers when he first met Alex, he had been skating down the street when he ran into someone. The person he ran into turned out to be a cute boy with blonde hair and brown eyes. 

_~  
“Oh my god, I am so sorry. Are you ok?” Hunten asked._

_“Huh, oh I’m fine. My name is Alex Turner, what’s yours?”_

_“Oh I’m Hunten Cross. Did you just move here because I’ve never seen you before?”_

_“Yea we moved here from Texas.” Alex said while sitting up. “Do you think you can get off of me?”_

_Hunten blushed and jumped up, stuttering. “I-I’m so-sorry.”_

_“It’s ok Hunten. Hey do you want to be friends?” Alex asked smiling._

_“Sure! I’d loved to be friends.” Hunten grinned.  
~_

Hunten shook his head to rid himself of the memories. He sighed and watched Alex walk away and thought to himself. There’s no way he would like me. He paused his thoughts as he felt a familiar heat in his stomach. If anyone asks pretend it’s for your girlfriend. A part of his mind said to him. He blushed and while he was fighting with his thoughts, his friend looked over and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Who you thinking about, buddy?” His friend winked at him.

“Oh uh, my g-girlfriend.” Hunten muttered looking back at Alex secretly.  
Dakota watched him look back and stare at Alex and he looked back at Hunten with disgust on his face. His friend was staring at another guy! 

“Well you better turn on the cold water soon. The bells about to ring.” Dakota said 

“Yea, you’re right.” Hunten closed his eyes and tried to get his mind off of Alex. A few moments later he opened them again and turned off the shower. He walked out of the shower and started getting dressed. Looking around he could swear he felt eyes watching him and he hoped it was just his imagination. _No one is looking at you stupid stop kidding yourself._

Yea, you’re right I really shouldn’t kid myself. No one would look at me. 

_That’s right, no one likes you._

Shaking his head to clear himself of those thoughts, he picked up his bag and left the locker room.


	2. Chapter 2

After he made it home he went straight into his room and collapsed on his bed. For a few minutes he just sat there until he remembered what happened at practice. Blushing, he shot up and hid his face in his pillow.

“I can’t believe that happened. How dumb am I?” 

Hunten got up off his bed and walked over to his dresser and pulled open the second drawer. He moved around his shirts until he found a little box. Inside was three blades and one was still covered in blood. He picked up the cleanest one and sat back down on his bed holding the blade to the light. Standing up he started taking off his shirt and pants leaving him in his boxers. He held the blade to his thigh and sliced through his skin, bringing relief. Sighing and leaning back against the wall, he dragged the blade over his thigh a few more times and transferred the blade to his other hand and started dragging it over his arm near his shoulder.

_You’re pathetic thinking Alex would even look at you twice._

**Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.**

Hunten sliced his arm again and again but made sure it was never deep enough to kill him. He didn’t want to die he just wanted relief from the pain. Getting up he walked to the bathroom in his room and took the bandages and anti-septic out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter. After cleaning his wounds and putting on the bandages he walked back into his room and put on a long-sleeved red shirt and pair of pants. His sister Viviana knocked on his door before walking in and jumping on his bed. 

“Yes Viv?”

“Mom wants you to set the table for dinner and I need help with my story.”

“What’s the story about?”

“A kid who has abusive parents or something like that. It’s for my creative writing class.”

“Interesting. Sure, after dinner I’ll help you ok?”

“Sure. Thanks aniki.”

“Is that one of those Japanese words you’re learning?”

“Yep! It means big brother.”

“Is that right? Well how do you say little sister?”

“Hmm, let me think. AH! Imouto is little sister in Japanese.”

“Well then imouto, get out of my room. Please.”

Viviana pouted and walked towards the door. Hunten watched her walk toward the door slowly and look back before grinning and ran to hug him. She laughed and said bye running from his room to hers beside it. He sighed and thought about how carefree his sister was. Being two years younger meant she was in her sophomore year in high school. Beautiful brown hair and gorgeous green eyes that could strike fear into her enemies. She was a force to be reckoned with. He walked down the hall and stopped for a second at her door listening to her sing. Smiling, he walked to the kitchen and started putting the plates and silverware out. While doing this his mother walked in and smiled upon seeing him making the table. She smiled at him and walked over to the fridge to pull out the butter. 

“How was your day honey?”

“Fine mom. What about yours?”

“Oh it was great. Hunten go on and get Vivi and your father so we can start dinner.”

“Ok mom.”

Walking down the hall and yelled for his sister and dad. He walked back into the kitchen and sat at the table waiting for the rest of his family to sit down. After everyone settled down and started eating his dad said something that froze his blood.

“I heard that a bunch of homo’s moved into that house across the street.” His mother gasped and looked at her husband in shock.

“You mean those people were GAY?! I went and said hi to them and thought they were friends. How disgusting.” 

Staring at his food and willing away tears, he asked if he could leave the table. After getting permission he ran up to his room and locked the door. Leaning against the door and touching his arm, he slid down and buried his face in his arms, tearing up slightly. 

“I can’t tell them. They’ll kick me out.”

_Who cares if they kick you out, just take a blade and end it in front of them? You could do it easily._

“No, I can’t do that to them. I mean they’re still my parents and I love them.”

_But you’re gay. You know how they feel about gay people._

Refusing to think about that, he reached into his dresser drawer again and pulled out a blade. Placing it on his stomach, he sliced the word ‘disgusting’ into his flesh. Wiping his tears and grabbing his phone, he texted Alex while bandaging his stomach.

_‘Hey what’s up?’_

**‘Nothing much. You?’**

_‘Just cleaning a cut I got from chopping veggies.’_

**‘Aww well hope you feel better sorry you got hurt. Hey I gotta go phones dyin seeya at school.’**

_‘Bye lumos.’_

**‘Seeya nox.’**

Hunten smiled when he saw his nickname in the message. They made them up when they were just getting to know each other and both of them were into Latin. Alex’s nickname had been altered a bit, originally it was lux, and they thought lumos was better for him. Meaning light, it was perfect since Alex was a bright ray of sunshine. Hunten’s nickname is  
Nox due to the fact that he was the darker minded of the two, nox meaning night. 

Sighing, he walked over to his bed and fell face first, blushing. Talking to Alex always made him blush like an idiot-which you are- and he couldn’t even look at him without stuttering every few words. He knew he shouldn’t like him but he couldn’t help it. Alex was a beautiful boy. 

Sitting up and resting his hands on the wall, he looked at his scarred arms and giggled a little. Thinking back now he remembered that he only called Alex, lumos when something was wrong. Laughing at how dumb he was, he collapsed into bed and got under his covers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this chapter is crap  
> bleh just yea  
> new chapter and junk even if this story isn't popular yet  
> gahhhhh I don't know how to write violence

The next few days were hard and Hunten could barely keep up with the change from popularity to Outcast-Ville. He kept hearing things and people kept shoving him into walls. He could hear whispering and every whisper had his name in it. He hadn’t seen his girlfriend (who was just a cover up to hide the fact he liked boys) all week and he was getting nervous. As he was wondering where she was he was pulled into the bathroom and shoved against the wall. He looked up to see his girlfriend and three of the football players. 

“A-Alexis? What are you doing?” Hunten asked.

“Doing what I should have done. Go ahead and start beating him up now. Oh wait one last thing.”

Alexis leaned down, grabbed Hunten’s jaw and kissed him then let go and kicked him in the balls and backed away.

“Go ahead and do it.” She said and went behind the boys while they punched Hunten over and over. Eventually they stopped and threw him on the ground, kicking his side a few times.

“That’s what you get for being a shirt-lifter Hunten.” 

Struggling to get up, he grabbed the sink and pulled himself up. Looking at his face and arms, he sniffled and raised his shirt to see the damage to his already cut stomach. There were a few bruises and his cuts had started bleeding again. Thankful he had brought bandages in case his wounds reopened, he wrapped his stomach again and wiped the tears that managed to fall. Walking out he could hear his girlfriend giggling and wondered why. He walked toward her and when he was a few feet from her, she pulled Alex to her and kissed him square on the mouth. 

Alexis pulled away and laughed even louder. Looking to see why she was laughing, Alex saw Hunten there with tears in his eyes.

“Nox it’s not what it looks like. She kissed me.”

“Now, now Alex don’t act like you don’t want me. Everyone wants me.”

Hunten stood there shocked staring at them while Alexis laughed and Alex walked up to him. Hunten snapped out of his shock when Alex stood in front of him and blinked at him before turning around and running out of the hallway.

“Nox!”

Alex broke free of the hold Alexis had on him and ran after his friend. Looking around, he tried to think of a place Hunten would go. Running towards the bathrooms on the opposite side of the building, he ran in to find nothing. Panting and gasping, he leaned down to catch his breath. Grabbing his phone he called Hunten’s cell and got his voicemail.

“Listen Hunten I didn’t kiss your girl. I don’t even like her. Please call me when you get this message.” Hanging up and sighing, Alex walked back to the other side of the school where his best friend’s girlfriend was. 

Meanwhile, Hunten was running home with one thought on his mind. He needed his blade and he needed it now. Running up the stairs and slamming his door shut he curled into a ball and sat there crying. While thinking about where to cut, he heard someone knocking on the door. Viviana popped her head in, and upon seeing her brother on the floor crying, ran to him and hugged him.

“What’s wrong Hunt?” She asked concerned.

“Viv how do you feel about gay people?” He asked afraid her reaction would be like their parents.

“Oh well I believe everyone should be able to love who they want. Something like gender shouldn’t stop you from loving someone.”

“Viv I-I. I-I’m g-gay” He said shakily while hiding his face in his arms.

“I knew that. I was waiting for you to tell me.”

Looking up shocked, he open and closed his mouth a few times before shutting it and asking, “How did you know?”

“I saw the way you looked at other boys and plus the way you look at Alexis.”

“Oh. Well thanks for staying with me.” Hunten said smiling and Viviana giggled before kissing her brother on the cheek.

“No prob bro, anything to help.”

Viviana got up and walked to the door before turning around and grinning at Hunten. He smiled back and when she left shut the door and locked it. 

That night he sat on his bed with a blade in his hand thinking about Alexis kissing Alex. How he wanted to end it so much. But he couldn’t because he still had faith that he would get his guy. Thinking about how it would feel to kiss him is what he fell asleep to. For the first time he didn’t cut before going to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Waking up and stretching, Hunten looked at his arm and sighed. Going into the bathroom and sitting on the counter he pulled out the bandages and took off his old ones. Wrapping the new ones around his arms and stomach, he started thinking about his ex-girlfriend. Did she know about his crush on Alex? Or did she just do it to make fun of him? Either way it hurt him and he just wanted to smack her or yell at her. Sighing and putting his shirt back on, he walked into his room and put the blade he had accidently slept with back in the box. 

“Hunten time for school.”

“Ok mom.”

He packed his work into his bag before he remembered he had run out of school yesterday and didn’t have any work from his afternoon classes.  
He laughed a bit and zipped his bag up and put it over his shoulder. Hoping today would be fine, he bounded down the stairs and ran out the door to the bus stop. He didn’t live that far from the school, just far enough that he had to ride the bus but could still walk there if he wanted. 

Sitting down, he pulled his I-pod out and put in his headphones. About five minutes into the ride, he feels something hit him in the head. Thinking it was probably badly aimed, he went back to his music. A few seconds later, he felt something hit him again, this time only harder. Looking back, he saw the entire back of the bus laughing. He reached up and felt something sticky in his hair and when he pulled it out he saw it was a lollipop. 

_WOW. How immature can you get?_

**Shut up. You don’t even exist.**

_Oh, but I do exist._

**Whatever.**

Sitting down further in his seat, he pouted slightly and turned up the volume on his I-Pod. Wondering if he had to use that blood stained blade when he got home, he waited for the bus to reach the school. When the doors opened he almost ran off the bus and to the courtyard so he could meet with his friends. 

Zina and David were two of his best friends besides Alex. Zina had long brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes. She liked Japanese things like his sister and on several occasions, made him dress up in costumes from her shows. While David liked those kinds of shows too, he never forced him into the costumes and for that he was grateful. David had short blond hair and greenish eyes that almost changed with what he wore. He walked up to them and tapped them both on the shoulder.

“STEVE IS HERE TO GET US!” screamed David.

“HIDE THE COUNTRIES!” yelled Zina.

“Hide the…countries?” asked Hunten scared what the answer would be.

“It’s this anime where all the countries are personalized and omg Italy has this cute little curl.” Said Zina jumping slightly.

David jumped in saying, “I like Romano better. He’s cooler than Italy plus he cusses at everyone. It’s hilarious.” After saying that he stood back and jumped on Zina’s back and laughed, acting like she was a horse. “Giddy-up horsey!”

“Get off me you baka! I am not your horse!” yelled Zina as she pushed him of her back and kicked him in the shin.

“Ouch Zi. No fair.” Whined David from his place on the ground. Laughing, Hunten helped him up and patted him on the shoulder. 

“Don’t be upset, she could do that to guys on the wrestling team. You’re just weak.” 

“Hunten! I am not weak!” yelled David.

Hunten watched his friends argue and placed his arm over his stomach. His arm was stinging and he looked down at the ground. Before his friends could stop him, he walked to the nearest bathroom and sat down on the toilet after locking the door. Raising his shirt, he saw the bruises were still black and yellow and his cuts were still scabbed over. Picking at one of the letters and watched as the scab came off and started bleeding slightly. Laughing and licking the blood off his fingers, he got up and ripped off some tissue and placed it over the still bleeding wound. Shaking his head and smiling into the mirror, he deemed his fake smile perfect and removed the tissue from his wound. Glad to see it wasn’t bleeding anymore, he walked out and jumped on Zina’s back.

“ZINAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Will you be my horsey? I’ll dress up in those outfits you like.”

“Really? Okay then, off we go to first period. Good thing we have the same first period, huh?”

Pretending to be happy was something he was very good at and he could beat the best in fake smiles. Looking back and seeing David gawk, he grabbed Zina’s ear and pointed her in his direction. Zina walked back and poked David’s tooth.

“Dude. Stop gawking and get to class.” Hunten said while wrapping his arms around Zina’s neck to hold on better. Suddenly he wished he had re-wrapped his stomach. Good thing he has long sleeves and a jacket on. Laughing at David seems to distract him from the pain in his stomach. Steering Zina towards class was fun too since he got to pull her ears to make her move. Jumping off her back, he sat in his seat beside Zina and pulled out some paper to take notes on. Putting his head in his hand, his mind wondered to his family. He wondered what they would do if he really did kill himself. They would probably be happy to have the gay boy out of the house. 

Slapping himself lightly, he focused on his schoolwork and started writing down notes. Zina looked over at him in concern, she had seen the dazed look on his face and wondered what was on his mind. Looking back at the board, she thought about how Hunten had been acting recently. She noticed he had blood on his fingers when he came back from the bathroom. Hoping he wasn’t seriously injured she went back to her notes and forgot about the blood.

After school had ended, Hunten was knocked into the wall behind the cafeteria and had an arm placed against his neck. Struggling, he opened his eyes and saw his teammates glaring at him. He knew if they wanted to, they could easily stop his breathing. As he stopped struggling, a fist hit him in stomach, causing him to grunt. He winced in pain and grabbed the arm pinning him to the wall and tried to yank it away. Before he could move it any another fist came and punched him in the stomach again. 

“W-Why are you doing this?” He asked in a raspy voice.

“It’s what you get for being a homo.” Said one boy before punching him in the face.

Shocked by the reason, he went slack and silent as they punched and kicked him. When they finally stopped he was dropped like an old rag doll and the people he once thought were his friends walked away laughing. He sat there for an hour before getting up and walking his way home. After making it past his parents, he went into his room and locked the door.

Dropping his bag, he grabbed his razor and stripped his shirt from his body. Placing the razor on the area of skin near his wrist he pressed it into his flesh before pulling it across his skin. Blood bubbled up and ran down his fingers onto the floor. He pulled his hand back and admired the color of his blood. A rich red poured from his veins and he put the razor at his wrist again and decided to draw something in his skin. He first cut a heart and then sliced a line through the heart. Grinning at his art, he set down the razor and ran his fingers through the blood running out of his wrist. 

He giggled a bit, then blushed at himself for giggling. Men don’t giggle they laugh. Smacking his cheek, he got up and squeezed his arm to make sure no more blood was coming out. Smiling as he walked to his bathroom, he poked the cuts and winced. He always hated the feeling after cutting. Shrugging and pulling the bandages and anti-septic out, he cleaned and dressed his arm. When he was done, he held his arm out and pulled his other arm back. He swung and hit his arm, crying out as his palm met sore flesh. Pain rushed through his arm and through his body. 

He grabbed the sink and looked at his reflection. Pain-filled blue eyes and stringy brown hair glared at him. Staring at his reflection, he brought his hand up and ran it over his face near his eye. When he removed his hand, his eye was a dark purple almost like a bruise and he watched as the right side of his face took a darker turn. The teeth in his mouth on the right side were sharp and he had crisscross black lines coming from his eye. The right side of his face smiled at him and winked while bringing his right hand up and writing in blood on the mirror, ‘The darkness will eat you up from the inside!’ Blinking and shaking his head, he looked back and his face was back to normal, same pain-filled eyes and stringy hair. 

Slightly scared, he walked back into his room and froze when he heard someone knocking at his bedroom door. He forgot about the bruise on his face and the multiple scars running up and down his arms and chest. Throwing a long sleeve shirt on, he opened the door and winced when he saw it was Viviana.

“Yes Viv?” he asked.

“Mom wants you downstairs to make the table for dinner.” She said staring at the bruise.

“Stop staring. It’s rude.” 

“Where did you get it?” she asked.

“I ran into a wall at school.” 

“Does it hurt?” she wondered.

“Of course it hurts I have a bruise on my face.” He said, voice full of anger.

“Oh well, I’m going to go back to my room now, bye nii-san.” She went to her room and locked the door. After she left, Hunten walked downstairs to set the table. It was a scene just like this where he learned his parents were homophobes. He sighed sadly and finished putting the plates and silverware down on the table. Walking back up the stairs, he knocked on Viviana’s door and told her dinner was ready. Walking to his parents study, he knocked and said dinner was ready. All he got in return to that was a grunt from his father. Shaking his head, he went back downstairs and sat down at the table and started messing with his fork. He ended up making his fork and spoon fight. 

“Take this Lord Pentwizzler. Ahhhh get reinforcements.” He said while knocking his fork over with his spoon. His mom walked in and when she saw him playing with his utensils, she laughed and patted him on head.

“That’s my boy, you know when I was your age I would draw on my clothes. Got me into a lot of trouble but it was fun. I had people sign them. Wonder if I still have them, hmm.” She mused, while bringing the food to the table. As his father and sister walked in, he thought he saw something black near the hallway entrance. Shaking it off, he grabbed a roll, forgetting what he saw. His sister was telling a joke and before she could get to the funny part, Hunten dropped his fork and bent down to pick it up. What he saw under the table made him shiver. Both of her legs had bruises on them and a word was carved into her shin. ‘Dark’ was written and when he blinked the bruises and the word was gone. He sat back up and blinked before going back to eating. 

Claiming he was tired, he went back to his room and fell face first on his bed. Turning his face to the side, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Wishing he could just fall asleep and never wake up, he got up and opened his second drawer and pulled out the box holding his razors. Smiling slightly, he laid back down and held one up to the light and sighed happily. Raising his arm and placing the razor to the scarred skin, he pulled it across lightly so that it barely made a mark. Smiling again, he pressed harder and pulled across bringing blood. 

Sighing in relief, he pulled the razor away from his skin and let his arm stay in the air, dripping blood. After a minute he got up and put the razor away and washed his cuts, bandaged them and went back to his bed. Smiling, he fell into peaceful sleep filled with images of his death and blood.


	5. Chapter 5

Yawning, he sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes in an attempt to wake up more. Moving over towards his desk, he brought out his notebook and opened to a clean page. Since he knew he was going to kill himself sooner or later he planned to write out the suicide note now so he wouldn’t have to write it later. Grabbing a pen and making sure it worked, he thought about what he wanted to write. Since he wouldn’t be alive when people read he knew he was going to write down his love for Alex. Also his hatred for football and how he wished he could have been a better role model for Viviana. Thinking about this was putting him in a dangerous mood, he longed for his razor but decided that for one day he wouldn’t cut to see if he can do it. Looking down at the paper, he started writing. 

_‘Dear family and friends, sorry to whoever find this note because it means that I am dead and you probably stumbled onto  
my body. Well good for you! You found a dead guy who never meant anything in this annoying world. Too bad too. The funny thing is absolutely nobody noticed the scars! I just wanted someone to notice I was acting different. My family thought I was fine and so did my crush. Oh by the way my crush is a guy, yep I’m gay and don’t worry even if I was alive I still wouldn’t like you. ‘_

His writing was cut short—ha cut --- when his mother knocked on his door, giving him just enough time to hide what he wrote, before she opened the door and smiled at him.

“Breakfast is ready if you want some.” She said happily, failing to realize her son was writing something that would bring her to tears within the first sentence. Putting a fake smile on his face, he nodded and said he’ll be down in a minute. Waiting for her footsteps to quiet down, he sighed and brought a hand to his face. Opening is desk drawer, he put the unfinished note in and closed it, thinking about how to put a lock on the drawer. Shrugging, he stood up and went downstairs to see balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling. 

Blinking, he watched as people jumped out of their hiding places and shout ‘Surprise!’ He shook his head and looked behind him, thinking this party was for someone else. His mother laughed at his antics and walked up to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. 

“Honey did you forget your own birthday again?” she shook with silent laughter. 

“Wait, what? It’s my birthday?” he questioned as he ran to check the calendar. On May 23rd, the words ‘Hunten’s birthday!’ were written in blue ink that sparkled. He assumed that Viviana was the one who wrote it. 

“I guess I did forget.” He looked around sheepishly. He looked around and saw Alex by the counter and smiling slightly. As he walked over to him, a few people came up and wished him a happy birthday. Blushing, he said thank you and stepped beside Alex. 

“Did you get me a present?” he asked as he leaned against the counter. He winced when his cuts rubbed against his sleeve. Alex looked at him with a smile and grabbed a box he hadn’t noticed. 

“Open it.” Alex smiled and he blushed at the thought of him being the one to make him smile. He looked at the box and ripped the wrapping paper off. As he put the paper on the counter he could feel Alex’s excitement and grinned before opening the box. His smile dropped and he pulled out a photo album that had him and Alex on the cover. 

“Alex where did you get these pictures?” he asked as he went through the pictures. One had him and Alex at the beach before he started cutting his arms. He was looking at Alex with an expression of pure happiness and Alex was looking at him with pure excitement. 

“My mom took most of them. I got some from your mom too. This one I got from her.” Alex said pointing to a picture of him and Alex in the bathroom brushing their teeth in nothing but their boxers. They had managed to write ‘We rule’ on the mirror in toothpaste. They wished they didn’t do that since they had to clean it off. 

Hunten looked through the pictures before freezing and noticing something in one of the newer pictures. He could see the cuts on his wrists and knew if he could then anyone could. His smile dropped and he put the photo album on the counter behind him. 

“Alex can you get me a drink? Anything but water.” He asked as he jumped to sit on the counter, making sure to move the photo album. 

“Sure. I’ll get you some rum and coke. Kidding.” Alex jumped when Hunten’s mom glared at him for saying he would get him some rum and coke. He watched Alex walk to the refrigerator and grab him a Mountain Dew. His hand went to his wrist and he rubbed the marks there. They still stung under the bandage and all he wanted was this party to end so he could finish writing his note. 

“Here you go Prince Hunten.” Alex said causing him to jump and bang his head on the cabinet above him. 

“Alex! You butt face. That hurt.” He said as he rubbed the back of his head. His eyes narrowed as he heard Alex laughing, holding his stomach and leaning over. His eyes lidded slightly at Alex’s laughter, he had always loved Alex’s laugh. Alex stood up straight and smiled at him, showing his dimples and teeth. He smiled back and took the drink from Alex’s grasp, popping the tab and started drinking it when he saw Alex blush slightly. Did he do something wrong? Was he going to prank him? 

“Alex? Why are you blushing? Did you prank someone recently?” he remembered the last time Alex had pranked him. Looking him in a closet with a dog, which loved him but he hated with a passion. Alex knew he hated dogs but didn’t really care and stuck a puppy in there with him. 

“N-No I didn’t prank anyone. You can’t prove anything. You’ll never take me alive!” Alex’s blush grew as he talked and he put his hands over his face hiding it from view. His hands were pulled off his face and he looked up at Hunten’s grinning face. 

“It’s ok Lumos, we all have bad days when our pranks don’t work.” Hunten said as he let go of Alex’s hands to lean back on his. Alex laughed slightly at the sight of his friend leaning back, he always crossed his legs when he leaned back, and making him look so effeminate.

“You look like a chick Nox. And I am really sorry about what happened with Alexis. I can’t stand that girl. I don’t really think she liked me either.” Alex said not noticing the dark look on Hunten’s face and the clenching of his fists. 

“I’m going to go up to my room really quick ok? I just need to grab something.” He said as he jumped off the counter and started walking to his room. Alex blinked as he watched him walk up the stairs.

Reaching his door, he pulled it open and shut it quietly so his mom wouldn’t come in to check on him. His eyes immediately went to his drawer and he grabbed the box, pulling a razor out and lifting his sleeve. He hesitated pressing the razor to his skin as he remember his goal he made. His hand shook as he gripped the razor tighter and slightly lowered his arm. 

_‘Do it.’_

_‘No one would care if you break a little goal that no one even knew about.’_

“I-I can’t I promised myself.” He said as he lowered the razor, but kept his arm in the arm, staring at the scars plaguing his wrists. His eyes went to the heart and his own heart jumped into his throat at the thought of Alex seeing these. 

_‘We can make that happen.’_ Said a voice in his head and Alex flickered in front of him, sneering. The only thing that was different were his eyes, a dark black. 

“Oh look at Hunten. Poor little gay boy with a hopeless crush on me. Let me tell you this, that’s disgusting and you sicken me.” Fake Alex said as his face change into a smirk and he lifted his hand and a razor appeared.

“Do it Hunten. Since you can never have me, might as well kill yourself.” Fake Alex laughed and disappeared, leaving Hunten to his thought and the razor that never left his grasp. The life flickered out of his eyes as he raised the razor again to his wrist and pressed down, getting the right pressure and pulling it across the scarred flesh. Blood blossomed and dripped onto the floor as he watched, feeling empty. 

“Hunten? Did you get what you needed?” Alex’s voice snapped him out of his trance and made him jump, pricking his finger on the edge of the razor. 

“Shit, give me a minute, it was hidden so I need to find it. Go ahead and go back downstairs. I’ll be down in a second.” He said as he ran to the bathroom in his room and pulled the gauze out and wrapped it tightly around his wrist, trying to stop the blood, and for the most part succeeding. He glared at his reflection and walked out, picking up something random that could pass as what he was looking for. 

“Oh Hunt, your mom said I can spend the night tonight, isn’t that great.” Alex said with a big smile as he walked down the stairs. 

“Totally. Oh this is what I was looking for. Took a while to find it though.” Hunten ‘smiled’ and clenched a fist behind his back. He held out the game he grabbed and watched as Alex’s eyes sparkled. 

“Uno? Brave boy thinking he can beat me in this game.” Alex said smugly. 

“Extremely brave.” He smirked and unclenched his fist.


End file.
